If an alien was watching the world cup – how would it react?
Well, I can answer that because I’m an alien.
Not a real one, but a football one.

I was never passed down a football club to support.
I believe thats the right of passage fopr all boys are bestowed onto them by thier father.
My dad himself was never gifted a team. Perhaps that’s why one was never passed to me.

Its always seemed a little strange to me. I understand the allure of a small club with local players – playing for their area.
But when its a cohort of global elite athletes configured to maximize profit, I struggle to see how you can have affinity towards it.

I see the top tier teams as brands, and brand I understand (Sort of).

Don’t get me wrong, I do love a snickers bar, but I don’t think I could let a snickers bar emotionally ruin my day if a mars bar beat it in a game.

When the world cup is on, I do find myself drawn to it.
The current best of England’s footballers, thrown into a hopper, and battling against the other countries. Now that is interesting.

However, every 4 years there appears to be a cycle.

1: I Swear Im not getting into the world cup because it will end in heartbreak.

2: Hear that apparently England have a better team than last time

3: Watch a game expecting them to loose, be surprised when they don’t.

4: England win again.. Something inside me starts to believe.

5: England get through to the play offs.

6: Start humming “its coming home” in the shower

7: Get excited for a game - England loose, feel devastation

Is this a thing unique to me? Or is this a British thing? Us Brits do love misery after all.

The final was particularly interesting this year.
After the heartbreak of england being eliminated, the pressure was off so I could “enjoy” the show.
The advertising – I found it pretty egregious.
The Louis Vuitton trophy case?
The cringy BBC advert?
The sponsorship overload?

Wayne Rooney summed up my thoughts it with his comment
“I Thought It Was Crap”

It was also a shame that the only effective Argentine attack was when the final whistle was called and it involved violence.
Apparently I’m told this isn’t too off brand for them.

My xenomorph-ic conclusion?
I think ill stay away from the world cup next year and stick to snickers bars instead.