I stubbed my toe earlier.
I instinctively reacted by neighing like a horse.
Millions of years of evolution and my body decided that the sickening crack as my toe hit the door frame wasn’t enough to alert me to a broken toe, rather, the best noise for the situation is that of an equestrian animal generated by my own mouth.
Of course in that moment of evolutionary betrayal, I realised that I could never be in any kind of combat sports. My pain tolerance is apparently lower than the UK’s current GDP.
Depressingly I also discovered that the practicing of Mindful Swearing doesn’t alleviate pain like I was led to believe.
(For those not in the know, Mindful Swearing is where you breathe in sharply for a 1 count, followed by exhaling an expletive mixed with a random object in view. e.g. XXXXXXX-Cardboard-box, small cup-XXXXXXX, dusty-XXXXXX-guitar.)
And the worst part of all of this?
A wonky toe? My MMA career dead before it even started? Knowing I wouldn’t survive any kind of mild interrogation to extract information?
No, the worst part was that my partner witnessed the whole spectacle, and will now relentlessly imitate the ‘horse noise’ multiple times a day, for at least the next few months.
”****** Cardboard box
mindful swearing practitioner-it really does work
“Would you like a cup of *NEIRGHGHE* tea?”
“I’m just popping to the shops, do you *NEIRGHGHE* want anything?”
“Just taking the *NEIRGHGHE* dog out”
…This is going to be a painful few months, in more ways than one…
You know what else would make it a painful few months?
If you’re one of the smart people in charge of commercial and ad tech decisions for your organisation and you STILL haven’t realised you can crack (ouch) the SMB market – all by simply joining adStripe.ai In-Content Partner Program.
Toe-gether we can massively increase your content monetisation while reducing ad load & fatigue.
Creating brand new ad inventory that is exciting, easy and affordable for any SMB to execute.
-I just wrote that sales segway and didn’t wince nearly as much as when I broke my toe.
For that alone you should find out more
What do you say – time to dip your toe in the water?
